Festival
Festival and mental health
Hi everyone! i'm back fom my trip :)
since i have a ot of opinions about the festiaval, i thought imma make a blog post about it and update you abit about my mental health
Festival: Pros and cons
there was a lot going on at the festival.
onet thing that i was scared about even befor the festival was the use of AI. And yes, there was a lot.
the flyer they released before the festival was obviously AI and I was sceptical if i should go or not.
If any other event released this flyer, i wouldn't go, but since i went with a friend of mine, i went anyways.
well..the booklet they gave us at the entry was AI too and i wouldnt be surprised if the running order and the planning was too.
to clarify: it was a hightech/Psytrance festival and the friend i went with already attended lots of those.
She also was not very happy about the planning and the runnning order; other festivals all did it differently.
Not that that would mean, that its all AI made, but... idk... it's the vibe..
Next thing: the people. Especially the security.
I dont care much for bag-controll, but if after the second-third time the security doesnt even look at us (and if, its more of a disgusted look) i get sus
After some talking to other Festival-attendies, we were told some storys about what the securitys are saying to people Hint: its disgusting shit that just people in the right spectrum would say.
i dont know who thought that would be a good idea, but i did not at all feel safe there.
Those people should look out for the attendies and make sure they are safe, but instead thay are joking INFRONT OF THE PARAMEDICS, that poeple leaving the floor should just "consume more"
And since we are in Germany (not that that matters in this day and age); of course there were people with football trikots with writing like "need more alcohol" and stuff like that. But seeing a shirt with the color of the NAZI-flag? that was.. not on my festival bingo-card.
Not that i have to defende the people dancing, wearing that, very alcoholised and very obviously playing with there dicks.... no i dont even want to
Was debating writing something like "i didn't talk to them, so they could be nice" but fuck no. sorry, i really don't like judging peolpe just by looking at them, but.... i wouldn't have been surprised if they greeted a dead man.
Nah, im not finished, but i need a little brain-break from thinking
water break. drink some water, its hot outside and climate change means changing behavior too
Now for the stage-art... well.
first of all, i'm really white. so this isn't something im 100% comfortable commenting about-
The art itself was good, no(t so much) judgment to the artist.
But i was not prepared to walk to the main stage and see a big mural of 4 native(-americans?)
Like i said, in a good world, this wouldn't be a subject I would comment on, but the people showed and how they were depicted... it had more the vibe of mascots.
I dont know if the intention was to celebrate the culture, it just seemed like cultural appropriation.
The second floor was not betteer at all; people dancing around a fireplace with headbands, feathers, loincloths etc...
like i said, its not my tpic to comment about, but i immedietly had a really bad feeling in my stomach.
And the visuals/light show, made it (100% not intentionally) far worse.
Explanation:
the Dj was in the middle of the stage, surrounded in a big "head"-like sculpture, on top a big Headband with feathers (everything out of wood fyi) left and right the art.
Now with the light show, they had a part with fire visuals, that illuminated the whole stage-art.
So i was standing there, dancing a bit, looked to the front and saw all of the native-americans BURNING
probably just didn't think about how this couuuuuuld be misinterpreted, but.... bro...
idk, maybe its just me.
Now about the positiv things!
the music was banger, ngl.
thats the only thing why i would go there again, but since there are a lot of festivals in the area, with most of the same line-up...
mental health (TW)
well guys. nothing i don't know, but i think i'm having another depressive episode 🌈
a lot happened in my brain over the weekend and i'm not having such a good time rn. You dont have to worry or anything, i just need a bit of time to myself, which is not so easy to begin with.
i want to write more about why im feeling this way, but i don't know if i should. Hearbreak would be the easiest thing to say.
And since we all went through this at some points in our life, it'll fade away, probably. It just takes time.
but you know what, imma just make this my clown-ark, cause depression is so last season and i dont want to feel this way (dont try this at home. this is not healthy)
I cryed two times already just today and why? i cant change anything about the situation, i dont even want to. i just maybe feel a bit misunderstood?
and yes. i should talk to her, i tried but its difficult. i can write texts, paragraphs, songs, but i can't tell her to her face
and im not even talking about "I love you"s or something like that. i dont even know what im talking about.
but thats all stuff i cant fix right now and i shouldnt. i should just stay back for a while and wait?
In the meantime. imma be a clown on the internet and write my silly texts and post silly pictures or something.
(no seriusly, i need help, i know that. imma talk to friends ((if most of them wouldn't be on holidays)))
now for a better ending than this, not that i have to leave this on a positive note, but i dont want it to end like this.
Please, please, please: if you feel down for some reason, even if it is just a small littel thing, seek help. just someone to talk to.
noone will think badly of you, everyone has a bad time sometimes, most people even know how it is being depressed.
i know its scary, i know its hard but is it worth it.
everything is better with you here
Go back
To the Top